When it comes to my career, friendship and relationship, settling for less is what I try to avoid. I was in my early 20s when I realized how important it is to not stay on what just makes me comfortable. The idea of taking risks and facing challenges can be frightening but I guess that’s how life should work.
I took a degree that doesn’t make me happy because I didn’t have a choice. Don’t get me wrong. I knew what I want for myself but I just graduated from high school and my Mom doesn’t have any capability back then to send the three of us to college. So, I had to stay with relatives while I was studying. I did some tutoring works after school for my friend’s nieces and nephews after class. Instead of doing self-pity, I distracted myself on making friends, focusing on my studies and did what I was supposed to do.
It didn’t stop there. Desperation to earn money after college made me took a job that I really don’t like. It was exhausting! If only someone had told me how hard it can be, then I should’ve become more patient in the past waiting for a much better opportunity. And as I expected, I just lasted in that company for 8 months.
It’s funny that I’ve figured out what I wanted to do to be happy with my life but I tend to focus on what I don’t have rather than work on making my goals into reality. I guess life wants me to learn its lessons in very hard ways.
When it comes to friendship, building a foundation can be easy. And as always, breaking it is the hardest part of it. I choose my friends wisely because I believe that they can contribute on I am going to be and reflect on what others may think about me. Sometimes, I wonder if they think I’m cruel for doing it but I’m just doing myself a favor. I don’t settle for people who bring me down, talkback behind me, don’t encourage me to do good and never make me feel confident about myself. Before I shut people out of my life, I always ask myself this question, ‘why do I need to let undeserving people in my life when I can wait for the deserving ones?’
I can’t say that the feeling I felt when I met this guy was love or just infatuation. But what I was sure of was he reminded me that I deserve someone better than him. He is good-looking, yes, but his personality doesn’t suit my ideal guy. I was stupid back then for allowing him to enter my life but I don’t regret it though. I’m actually thankful for him because he opened my eyes, without him knowing, that I’m meant to be with a person who’s not like him. I was able to see the difference between a guy who just cares about himself and a guy who cares about me.
I still get scared to make a move and make changes sometimes, but I keep on telling myself that fear won’t do me any good and it will not bring me to better opportunities that are waiting for me out there somewhere.
Thank you so much for reading!