Earlier this week, I woke up one morning feeling so motivated and optimistic and start thinking that it’ll be a good day ahead of me. I’ve decided to go back to my old routine, focus on my goals, be productive and move forward. Our family is still grieving yet we can’t stay like this forever. Losing someone who had been part of our whole life is difficult to accept yet, there’s no other choice but to do it.
I asked my Mom and my sister if they already wanted to go back to working again. I told them that it’ll help us to slowly acknowledge the truth and look forward to better days ahead of us. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting the person we lose, I reminded them. I know that my Dad will understand what I mean by that and for sure, he doesn’t want us to get stuck in this kind of situation where all we just feel is pain and sadness. This will change us forever and the scars will be left on our hearts once we overcome this point of our lives. We support each other ever since and this time, we have to double the effort to get through this.
Losing my Dad is a reminder for me that we’re all going to encounter endings. I understand now the significance of giving enough time to people we love and cherish the moments while we still can with them. I think what made it more painful for me is that I was close to him since when I was a kid but as I grew up, it vanished. I have many remorses when it had finally sunk into me that he is gone, forever. We didn’t get along so well before he left us but there’s nothing I can do now to patch things up with him. This burden will be part of me now and there’s no way I can do to remove it.
Now, I’m trying to imagine my Dad happy wherever he is right now. His suffering is now done and he will no longer experience more of it. He’s now just part of my memory. It’s hard to think and face the truth that he’ll no longer be part of our future. However, moving on is what we need to do and it may not be soon, but we will surely accept the truth when the right time comes.
Thank you so much for reading!