I’ll give you a heads up now; I’m not really great at giving any advice when it comes to relationships because I, myself, is also having trouble dealing with my own issues. Most of the things I’ve written here are based on my experiences and ideas, sometimes from the people that I know too.
We are all aware that having a misunderstanding in any kind of relationship is normal. We argue with our loved ones, don’t speak for a couple of hours, worst, for days. Some relationships can make things work out by doing whatever is necessary. And unfortunately, some can’t do the same thing with their partners and choose to break up. No matter how big or small the issues we have with our loved ones, facing it is the only way we need to do to know what’s the real problem and try to fix it.
Here are some of the things that may help to resolve the misunderstanding we have with our loved ones without hurting each other’s feelings and avoid it from happening it again:
1. Figure out what’s the problem.
It’s difficult to come up with a solution to a problem if we don’t know what’s the real issue, right? How and where are we supposed to start thinking about how to make things okay again if we still haven’t figure out where it is coming from? As a lady, I can tell how complicated we are to deal with. We always want to talk and be listen to and make things worst by not letting our partners do the same. In my experience, my SO always question me why am I acting so stubborn sometimes and I don’t tell him the reason why. When he finally gets tired of asking, I’ll give up and tell him my side. It’s like we’re playing tug-of-war but not literally doing it. You see, sometimes, whether you’re a man or a woman, both sides need to put effort to make sure that the issue will be fixed.
2. Know where’s the problem coming from.
Sometimes, small issues get bigger if we don’t know where it’s rooting until we finally give up and stop dealing with it anymore. I don’t know why some of us are being naïve or born just like that, but sometimes, I don’t understand how others can stand sleeping without fixing the issues with their partners. Maybe we’re tired from work or we just don’t want to deal with any dramas but we shouldn’t only just think about ourselves sometimes. Let’s try to put our feet into our partner’s shoes. Aren’t we going to feel bad when our SO’s ignores us? Obviously, we are going to feel sad about it so, let’s try to listen to them and open up to us about why are they acting that way. We’ll never know, they might be feeling disappointed about us for quite some time now, we just don’t know because we don’t ask them.
3. Talk about the issue and listen to each other’s side.
I think this is the most important part of this list. We’re done with figuring out and looking for the source of the problem. Now, we’re going to let our side and our partner’s side be heard. It’s up to you who should go first as long as you both have your turns, that’s the important thing. The main issue sometimes why most of the relationships don’t work well is because couples don’t talk things over. We prefer to do the silent treatment which I’m guilty of doing before. I don’t like arguments because I don’t know how to choose the right words to tell my SO that’s why I’d rather shut my mouth and ignore the fact that we fought that day. Yet, some things don’t work that way. Some issues are inevitable not to talk about and what needs to be done is to entirely fix it.
4. Don’t blame your partner and don’t play the victim.
As much as we can, let’s try not to blame the other person and of course, don’t play the victim too. It’s called a relationship because two people are involved in it. So when things are fine, we and our partners are the reasons behind it, the same thing goes when things are starting to fall apart. We decided to be in a relationship with them and no one forces us to do that. We know we love the person we’re with if we don’t give up easily on them and vice versa. I can’t say that I’m in a perfect relationship right now but I can say that we talk things over if we feel something is off and I’m glad it works for both of us so far.
5. Come up with the solution and stick with it.
Lastly, let’s not forget to give solutions to our issues. It’s not enough that we just talk about the problems and let it solved on its own. We can prevent it from happening again by giving a resolution on the issue and put everything behind. I understand that some problems are worst than the others but the thing is, patience, sacrifice and forgiveness are part of being in love.
Thank you so much for reading!