I’ll give you a heads up now; I’m not really great at giving any advice when it comes to relationships because I, myself, is also having trouble dealing with my own issues. Most of the things I’ve written here are based on my experiences and ideas, sometimes from the people that I know too.
We are all aware that having misunderstanding in any kind of relationships is normal. We argue with our loved ones, don’t speak for a couple of hours, worst for days. Some relationships we’re into can make things work out by doing whatever we think is necessary. And unfortunately, some can’t do the same thing with their partners and end up at separating from each other. No matter how big or small our issues are with our loved ones, facing it is the only way we need to do to know what’s really the problem that needs to get fixed.
Here are some of the things that I think can help to fix the misunderstanding we have with our loved ones without hurting each other’s feelings and avoid it from happening it again:
1. Figure out what’s the problem.
It’s difficult to come up with a solution to a problem if you don’t know what’s the real issue, right? How and where are we supposed to start thinking how to make things okay again if we still haven’t figure out if the problem is with what we do or say to our partners? As a lady, I can tell how complicated we are to deal with. We always want to talk and be listen to and make things worst by not letting you do the same. In my experience, my SO always question me why am I acting so stubborn sometimes and I don’t tell him the reason why. When he finally gets tired of asking, I’ll give up and tell him my side. It’s like we’re playing tug-of-war but not literally doing it. You see, sometimes, whether you’re a man or a woman, both sides need to put effort to make sure that the issue gets fixed.
2. Know where’s the problem coming from.
Sometimes, small issues get bigger if we don’t know where it’s rooting until we finally give up and stop dealing with it anymore. I don’t know why some of us are being naïve or born just like that, but sometimes, I don’t understand how others can stand sleeping without fixing the issues with our partners. Maybe we’re tired from work or we just don’t want to deal with any dramas but we shouldn’t only just think about ourselves sometimes. Let’s try to put our feet into our partner’s shoes. Aren’t we going to feel bad when our SO’s ignores us? Obviously, we are going to feel sad about it so, let’s try to let them open up to us why are they acting that way. We’ll never know, they might be feeling disappointed about us for quite some time now, we just don’t know because we don’t ask them.
3. Talk about the issue and listen to each other’s side.
I think this is the most important part of this list. We’re done with figuring out and looking for the source of the problem. Now, we’re going to let our side and our partner’s side be heard. It’s up to you who should go first as long as you both have your turns, that’s the important thing. The main issue sometimes why most of the relationships don’t work well is because people don’t talk things over. We prefer to do the silent treatment which I’m guilty of doing before. I don’t like arguments because I don’t know how to choose the right words to tell to my SO that’s why I’d rather shut my mouth and ignore the fact that we had a fight that day. Yet, some things don’t work that way. Some issues are inevitable not to talk about and what needs to be done is to entirely fix it.
4. Don’t blame your partner and don’t play victim.
As much as we can, let’s try not to blame the other person and of course, don’t play victim too. It’s called relationship because two person is involved in it so when things are fine, us and our partners are the reasons behind it, same thing goes when things are starting to fall apart. We made a decision to be in a relatioship with them and no one force us to do that. We know we love the person we’re with if we don’t give up easily be on them and try to fix the problem with them. I can’t say that I’m in a perfect relationship right now but I can say that we talk things over if we feel something is off and I’m glad it works for both of us so far.
5. Come up with the solution an stick with it.
Lastly, let’s not forget to give solutions to our issues. It’s not enough that we just talk about the problems and let it solved on its own. We can prevent it from happening again by giving a resolution on the issue and put everything behind. I understand that some problems are worst than the others but the thing is, patience, sacrifice and forgiveness are part of being in love.
Thank you so much for reading!